Typologies and tests can sometimes give rise to misleading generalizations. People may be branded as either thinking people or as feeling people. Men are known for their rational thinking, while women are labeled as emotional. “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.” But is this really so? Is this how it was meant to be?
Of course there are fundamental differences between men and woman. But all people, male and female, were born with four assets: mind, body, heart and intuition. In order to be a whole or complete person, we should have the capability to understand all four of these components and know how to use and listen to them all. It is unhealthy and unbalanced to pay attention, for example, to your thoughts alone, while ignoring the body and heart. Consider a scenario where you are participating in an ultra marathon. Three quarters of the way through the race you suffer a serious chest pain. If you focus only on what your mind tells you, it might tell you that you have to persevere as you’ve practiced so much up to now. Your heart might be disappointed, as you would love to persevere and see the race through. If you listen only to these two, and not your body, you might suffer permanent damage or even death from a heart attack. In all situations, it is unhealthy and unbalanced to apply “selective hearing” when any one of these four assets is telling you something or sending you important signals.
Most people are at least good at listening to their bodies and to either their mind or their heart. But very few people have mastered the art of listening to all four assets, including their intuition, and understanding what the combination is telling them. You have probably sometimes had a “gut feeling” that something is either right or wrong, or that a plan could work. That is your intuition at work. These four assets should be used in balance. We all find decisions difficult: learn to listen to your heart and intuition as well as your mind.
In a previous blog post (about Self Awareness) I mentioned a “mask.” The mask (which Jung called the “persona” from the carved masks in the Greek and Roman theatre) is that which you pretend to be, which is another layer that you clothe yourself with. A mask might be the clothes or cars you buy to impress others, the way you embellish the truth to make yourself appear a hero, and so on. The happier you are about yourself, and the better you know who you really are, the less of a mask you will have to wear.
Then there is the spirit, the fourth layer depicted in the previous model. But to begin to understand your ego and your spirit, you need to understand your heart, mind, body and intuition first. So start your journey by becoming aware of the first two levels as a first step. Later in this chapter we will deal in more detail with self-discovery of the ego and the spirit.
Now, looking at yourself, consider which assets you need to give more attention to and perhaps develop further. Write down which assets needs work, and how you think you might develop them. If you feel you can, share your findings with someone close to you, and ask them to help you. If, for example, you need to pay more attention to your feelings, this person could ask you from time to time what you are feeling. Get into the habit of assessing your feelings. You will be surprised how illuminating this is. If you need to think more, ask your mentor to frequently ask you for an explanation of your actions, ideas or decisions. Start thinking more. In sharing this and holding yourself accountable for your actions, you will soon experience this as second nature, as an instilled habit.
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